Saturday, 25 January 2014

I'm no doormat |

I've seemed to hold onto a belief for the last few years that people change and learn in time, from their mistakes, prejudices, arrogance and consequential behaviors/habits/etc.But I think I've come to realize that some people never change, no matter how much time passes or how much they age. They can go through all the motions, heartbreak and shit they put others and themselves through but it may never sink in deep enough to have any real cause and effect.

I've also realized that I need to keep reminding myself that, and not give people the benefit of the doubt just because they tell me through words and never put them into actions. Maybe some people deserve a second chance, but maybe others don't and I have to know where to draw the line.

More importantly, I have to trust my gut instincts and intuition because I've found 90% of the time what my heart tells me is usually right and when I go against it, I don't like the consequences, however large or small they may be.

Songs on repeat:
> Femme Fatale - Sky Ferriera
> Run This Town - Jay Z ft. Rihanna
> Boyfriend - Ashlee Simpson
> A line allows progress, a circle does not - Bright Eyes

Sunday, 5 January 2014

Film: Candy

"Once upon a time, there was Candy and Dan. Things were very hot that year. All the wax was melting in the trees. He would climb balconies, climb everywhere, do anything for her, oh Danny boy. Thousands of birds, the tiniest birds, adorned her hair. Everything was gold. One night the bed caught fire. He was handsome and a very good criminal. We lived on sunlight and chocolate bars. It was the afternoon of extravagant delight. Danny the daredevil. Candy went missing. The days last rays of sunshine cruise like sharks. I want to try it your way this time. You came into my life really fast and I liked it. We squelched in the mud of our joy. I was wet-thighed with surrender. Then there was a gap in things and the whole earth tilted. This is the business. This, is what we're after. With you inside me comes the hatch of death. And perhaps I'll simply never sleep again. The monster in the pool. We are a proper family now with cats and chickens and runner beans. Everywhere I looked. And sometimes I hate you. Friday -- I didn't mean that, mother of the blueness. Angel of the storm. Remember me in my opaqueness. You pointed at the sky, that one called Sirius or dog star, but on here on earth. Fly away sun. Ha ha fucking ha you are so funny Dan. A vase of flowers by the bed. My bare blue knees at dawn. These ruffled sheets and you are gone and I am going to. I broke your head on the back of the bed but the baby he died in the morning. I gave him a name. His name was Thomas. Poor little god. His heart pounds like a voodoo drum."